I can't take this anymore

[skieblue.livejournal.com]

I am beginning to lose hope that fanfiction.net is every going to be fixed and I don't know what to do without the site. No one posts stories about my favorite characters anywhere else, despite their being a livejournal community for that specific group of characters as well as one for the whole fandom.  I have tried every other archive I know of, and everything has been stories I've already seen, or stories about characters I don't want to read about, or, in some places, there haven't even been any stories in my fandom. With my fandom being one of the broken ones on fanfiction.net, I have nothing new to read, when there used to be at least a new chapter about my favorite character everyday.

And the lack of reading materiel is destroying my inspiration for my writing. I use my writing as a way to cope with stress, and it is just getting into the part of the year where I need to most, and this happens. I sent PMs to two writers whose stories I'm following, and they updated, one on Thursday, and the other on Friday. Those days, I had no trouble writing, and managed over 500 words both days. But when there is nothing new to read, I waste the whole time of day that I have set aside for writing, fruitless looking everyone I can think of online for stories about my favorite characters, because that is what I need to spark my inspiration. So, basically, if this situation isn't resolved very soon, I'm going to go crazy, and I can't think of a solution. I mean, I'm still writing my stories, but they don't have the spark that they get when I have reading material to give me inspiration. And, I've updated one of them since the site broke, but that doesn't solve my problem. My stories don't give me something to read, and without writing as my coping mechanism I feel like I'm going to go crazy.

It has gotten to the point where I can't even sleep, because I make up stories in my head to relax and fall asleep, but all I can think about is what I'm going to do if the site fails completely. If that happens, I'll be lucky to find two or three stories worth reading in a month, which will kill the inspiration for my own writing. I know this is kind of off topic, but it is a situation caused by the problem with the site, and I've been complaining about it everywhere, and can't find a way around it. I can't even enter the characters names into a search engine, like Google or Yahoo, because my fandom is Hetalia,and the characters are personifications of countries. I'm not going to find anything about the characters that way. And, without fanfiction.net, every story I can find is always about the same two characters.

I should have gone to bed half an hour ago, but I can't even come up with a story idea, because my muse is too uncooperative, because I have nothing to feed my muse with. And I don't know what to do, because every time I e-mal the people that are SUPPOSEDLY maintaining fanfiction.net, still nothing happens. Every morning, I wake up and hope that either they will have fixed it during the night, or at least acknowledged there's a problem. Then, I go and look at my fandom, once again hoping desperately that something about my favorite character will have been posted during night, something that had happened twice in the last week, when it used to happen every day. Then, when I find nothing, I begin the fruitless search of the KinkMeme, and the livejourna communities for the fandom, only to find that everything is always about the same two characters, and nothing about my favorite character has been posted. Then, I spend all day, trying to make my muse be cooperative, so that I have that barrior from all the stressful stuff going on. Then, I sit down for my writing hour, and waste it on a fruitful search through the archives again, and find nothing.

I seriously don't know what to do, if this problem isn't fixed soon. And I know I got off topic, but I've been needed to say all this for a week, and the situation only gets worse every day. And maybe I'm hoping that someone can give me a solution, other than find something else to do. There has to be another way to find the stories to feed my muse, because my muse won't cooperate with me at all if she isn't fed, and she's incredibly picky. Nothing except a story about the character my stories focus on will satisfy her.